A blessing

Undisguised

One of the greatest joys from marrying my best friend results from when he surprises me. It in variably reminds me to pay more attention to what he says rather than allowing my assumptions to rule. This morning exemplified this when he asked what time the blessing would occur because he wanted to participate.

So much of this week—who am I kidding? Of this trip itself—he has generously agreed to doing whatever I suggested because he knew how over the moon I was about getting back to Bangkok. He hasn’t really opined on much—except he still doesn’t like climbing or descending stairs because of his knees aching—so we have done most of the reunion program in addition to a bonus day of touring upon arrival. Truth be told, I had forgotten about the blessing altogether as I focused on nit noys as we entered the final full day in Bangkok.

‘Uh, no, it’s 0900 rather than 0800’, I responded. He was pleased that we could have a more leisurely breakfast. We returned to the relevant area from dropping off our kindles upstairs as the final touches were underway in preparation for the event.

We sat down in the front row with Michael, a 1970 ISB graduate who we have spent quite a bit of time talking with, especially after he and my husband determined they were both Auburn (‘WarEagle’) alumni. As we were sitting there, one of the reunion gurus, Lloyd, suggested we three become part of the elders for this event. I had no clue what that entailed but we all moved to face the crowd where we were told we would help channel the blessings to those in attendance.

The officiate was a stately Thai woman dressed in an impeccable, perfectly white brocade dress. The MC explained most of what the blessing ceremony would entail, although his pronunciation left me unsure of a couple of things. An intricate display of greenery decorated the table along with candles and fruits to help us all with healthy, extended lives.

She sang three verses of a song that was central to the ceremony, giving no evidence she spoke any English (though she may well have as an academic). Thailand is a remarkably international place, so often underappreciated when people comment on its unique history of never formally falling under western colonisation. The country is a cross roads of Thai, Burmese, Khmer, Laotian (different Thai?), Chinese, Karen, subcontinent Indian, Malay, and other minority peoples. The language is written in a Sanskrit form yet it is overwhelmingly intertwined with Buddhism rather than the he Hinduism associated with the script. In short, the society largely works because of a blending and balancing rarely seen as successfully around the world. Perfect? Of course not, but pretty good .for a last two hundred forty, if not many more, years’ hard work. It may not have our form of government but it has strengths we current seem to lack.

After lighting three candles, she brought the ten elders each a simple white string of cotton which she rubbed down our right wrist three times, then up our wrist three times before she tied a knot. She and each of us in turn then raised our hands together in Thai style to acknowledge thanks before she moved to the next person. Reaching the end of the row, she reversed order to present each elder with our own strings and a small, neatly tied bouquet of white flowers one sees at any spirit house and four red flower buds.

Actions create consequences—the ten newly blessed elders in turn witnessed the seats from which she had blessed each of us filled with others from the crowd awaiting our blessing of them for health and long life. We elders each tied the string after following the ritual of three passes down the wrist and three in reverse order before we tied a knot, then brought our hands together with the other person to bow our heads in mutual acknowledgment.

There are about a hundred seventy-five in our reunion group, I think, so this took a few minutes but it was done silently with as much grace as novices could achieve.

It struck me again that when I walked the halls of ISB in th early 1970s, I never expected to be blessing Maureen, an incredibly gifted athlete in our school while I was, frankly, a schlump. I knew her sister Pam from my class but held Maureen in great awe because she seemed so carefree as she excelled at something so bloody hard for me. Giving her blessing these years later reminded me how life does reconnect us with our past when we least expect.

Or blessing Barb who was from my class. As we flew out from the east coast, I had known she was coming because we sat with her and her husband at the Daytona Beach reunion in August but I couldn’t recall whether she or her brother was the elder (he is) but I most definitely remembered her as a quiet but so poised member of my class at ISB. barb has always sported such an infectious smile.

I did not know most people who sat across from me for the 60 seconds my part required but we had that ISB bond, whether as alumni or spouses of alumni, to this unique place. It was just plain cool. My husband knew no one but enjoyed our role thoroughly, a terrific addition to his ISB chain of events.

The ceremony concluded, as predicted, within half an hour as people scattered for a day of individual choices before our closing dinner tonight. We depart early tomorrow.

Consequences of actions may require decades to unfold. It is a reminder that our perspective on time is frequently too rushed when we sssume we have seen a closure that is merely a breather. Buddhism reminds everyone that nothing is permanent, one of its enduring tenets.

Thank you reading today’s column. I welcome any rebuttals, suggestions, or thoughts. I thank those of you who sign up, especially the paid subscribers. You are amazing.

Thailand has many symnpbols but one linking it forever to Buddhism so pervasive in the hearts of the seventy-five millions citizens is the lotus.

Be well and be safe. FIN