forthright compassion

de-stigmatising suicide prevention

I recently committed to raising the profile of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, a 501 (c)(3) organisation in New York. Their mission includes several things, not least helping to lessen suffering of families bearing the horrible burden of such an act, and educating people about mental illness to de-stigmatise depression.

A friend wrote me a few minutes ago about a recent suicide in her community. She stated ‘The whole family is devastated. I can not begin to process their grief. I cry every day. I can't imagine how my friend is putting one foot in front of the other. I'm having a good cry right now.’ It’s an all-too-sad experience from which no one even distantly involved escapes without scars.

Writing a column on suicide won’t do much to convince an isolated, despondent veteran, or a lonely thirty-something, or a bullied teen that life is still worth it. Depression is a devastating, tricky, pernicious, and overwhelming mental challenge that makes every single thing the person has to do in her or his life seem too much; a few words on a screen won’t cure that.

But we can more openly recognise the pervasiveness of depression and of mental illnesses. We are currently having extremely public conversations about women’s health care, in-vitro fertilisation, abortion, gender identity, and so many other human characteristics and concerns in America. We have the power as a society to address the importance of mental health as well. We owe it to our society to do so, regardless of our religious commitments, our backgrounds, our gender, or our jobs. It’s what the ‘golden rule’ dictates, regardless of its origins in one’s life. ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’.

Those demoralised by depression are not merely lazy people who should ‘get over it’; they confront debilitating feelings as they do everything in their days. They deserve the same care and support that we give to any other person suffering from a severe illness or disease. Mental health is a medical condition rather than a chosen route in life. We must recognise that untreated mental illness saps our economy as much as so many other concerns, undermining our ability to reach full capacity much less full satisfaction as citizens. That matters to all of us.

Suicide is a final act by thousands of desperate people seeking release from the crushing burden they carry. Someone depressed can’t grasp the pain it inflicts on others who see how it snuffs out too many lives. Nor can someone afflicted recognise the systemic affect on her or his extended community. As my friend above illustrates, the resulting deep pain extends well beyond family to a far broader community. Organisations like the American Foundation Suicide Prevention offer education for all of us about the challenges we confront as a society.

Additionally, these vital groups offer lifelines of hope for those in need, be they the depressed or those left so bereft by a loss. Hotlines are truly vital for people at the lowest points in their lives.

Each and every one of us can make a difference by reaching out to others when we know they are isolated and depressed. Yes, there is a fine line between being a caring outsider and a mental health professional; I do not dispute that important distinction. If you see someone sinking without professional help, do what you can to encourage the individual to seek help but I fully admit there are limits to what any of us can do. Gentle kindness is a first step, however.

But each of us has the ability to address mental illness with forthright compassion. That simple act might save a life as much as picking up the phone for someone in need.

Thank you for considering this topic today. It’s a painful one.

Be safe and be well. FIN

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, https://afsp.org/