second acts and recalibrations
those who inspire us
I have a friend of long, long, long standing exemplifying why life offers us grace following moments of frustration or years of something completely different. Wait, I actually have several friends who fit that categorisation. We at a more mature stage in our lives are increasingly inspiring for good reasons.
My initial friend is a talented woman who relocated within a few weeks of the full pandemic hitting us. How challenging it was to find places open as she moved across half a dozen states to her new abode. She has an aging parent in the new area but made the move to spend time with the individual and to focus on making sure she practices a fulsome second act, although I am not sure she realised it upon departing her prior home.
Almost four years into this second act, she is now a farmer. Ok, she isn’t spending all her time hoeing the fields but she is part of a co-opt that is doing amazing things to provide the essentials we use every day. Farm animals. Water in a dry portion of the country (isn’t that every where as we are now almost 15 inches below average in rainfall in the Chesapeake) This week she has been deep into dehydrating garlic as part of a sustainability project. It may be a modest amount of garlic as the world operates but her efforts are encouraging others to appreciate each and every bit adds up.
She writes poetry as well, penning more meaningful, moving thoughts than anything i have written in scholarship. The exquisite courage it requires to share through poetry is pretty amazing yet she has been doing it for quite a while.
Oh, and she also paints. I mean detailed painting that waters my eyes because it’s such an act of both precision and love. i saw some Christmas cards she was working on about a fortnight ago and it made me want to trash all my photographs because her brain allows her to transfer what she sees into something she replicates or produces on a medium completely blank as she initiate the project. This truly doesn’t compute for me (as I have said to my husband who similarly can paint delicate items through his mind’s eye) yet this lady’s work only improves over time. She isn’t working on it 24/7 but she show how our experiences over decades, even if we don’t think about them, lead to welcoming and awesome results. These efforts also allow us to thrive, so often a time when when society writes us off because of age.
This all sounds so basic yet it isn’t a given at all. Too many people seem to assume retimement=inertia. Instead, this woman and so many others operate with a renewed vigour that excites them and everyone else they encounter. These people are models, inspirations, mentors, and so much more. Their drive is grit in conjunction with inquisitiveness, determination linked with a desire to improve on what they see by contributing.
This is not, repeat not to criticise those who don’t want a second act. I can testify that society just assumes, at least inside the Beltway, that anyone retiring from a fulltime position automatically seeks a new fulltime position with significant salary. We all make goals and choices but that is the point: we are making choices about our lives rather than falling into a single stereo-type for our more mature years.
In discussing second acts, I wrote about my friend with the garlic project but I could also have discussed my male friend working ceaselessly at Habitat for Humanity, helping as much as he did as a naval aviator. Or my friend who teaches yoga on line to veterans could have retired to her new community to watch her garden but chose a second act she thoroughly embraces herself. Actually, I could write volumes on so many people who inspire by taking on something fully after a dedicated career in a rather different field.
Is there some trait or series of attributes they share? Yes, indeed. They chose second acts quite different from their original careers. Second, these folks are doing the second acts without financial renumeration as far as I can tell. These folks are enjoying the new activities out of the joy of interacting with others and mastering new skills; they all also like a challenge.
These are also people who are still thriving, not merely strapping on another obligation because they think it’s expected. If these folks were weary when they retired from their prior careers, they obviously each shook it off to tackle these new goals with intensity and vigour. Mastery of new skills is vital as a stimulant.
Finally, second acts may have inherent constraints such as yoga requiring flexibility to achieve a pose but the actors are feeling pretty uninhibited because they are voluntary commitments. I am not saying people aren’t keeping obligations; these folks most definitely are. But, there is a different variable which is important. Few of us genuinely benefit from the stress of pursuing a salary, regardless of our protestations to the contrary, but the flexibility and ability to walk away at any point if necessary (for whatever reason) is a luxury not be ignored.
Ageism sucks. We all recalibrate—and I endorse that—reguarly so keep it up to inspire and thrive!
What have you been desiring as a second act? Your schedule may not be free for it quite yet but the focus on what you can add to this bright, bold world is worth pondering at any point in our lives. Besides, it’s hard to overestimate how much inspiration helps our world go around.
Yes, it is mid-November but one would not know it.
Thank you for reading Actions Create Consequences today. Please feel free to leave me comments on any column.