those graduation ideas
FYD vs AO
Bonnie Hammer of NBC Universal penned a cautionary piece in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal for those marching across the stage this graduation season; I would also recommend it for anyone who breathes. Her advice won’t engender much enthusiasm but it ought catch everyone’s attention for differentiating between common sense and profound ego stoking.
In a nutshell, “‘Follow your dreams’ and other terrible career advice” reminds all of us that hard work, a solid dose of humility, and the ability to listen and learn are underappreciated keys to success in the workplace. I would dare say success in life as well.
Of course, one should enter any job mindful of not allowing someone to treat the individual as a doormat. One has to learn to call out bad actions, with various offices available to file appropriate complaints. No, I am not naive enough to argue that problems in workplaces are all a thing of the past. But, follow your dreams (FYD from here) doesn’t help address that problem as it occurs. Yes, a fine line exists between being too deferential and being too aggressive but learning how to address that nuance is at the heart of success on a par with knowing quantum physics in working with others.
But there is no manual for learning that distinction. It is a skill learned in life by failing to grasp the appropriate balance as well as succeeding at it. Truthfully, there are few manuals for workplaces all the way around, though the specifics on carrying out some tasks may be in books.
Hammer and I agree that FYD is leading far too many people to assume that the rules of an organisation or the grace acquired with age is irrelevant in today’s hyperspecialised world. Few things could be further from the truth. Experience has a value supremely important the higher one rises because accumulated experiences provides a range of practica for handling interpersonal issues that youth does not. Defaulting to FYD becomes a potential excuse for choosing the wrong decisions in any situation since the employee likely can say ‘but this is not really want I want to be doing or what I am good at so my actions probably don’t matter’. Perhaps I am jaded but I found that the vast array of decisions I made in various work situations, including at a job I detested when I began working, served me as I progressed through my career and through various scenarios. By the way, I made absolutely loads of mistakes over the years, some so cringe-inducing that I shudder.
Hammer’s suggested approach of availing one’s self of opportunities (AO in this newsletter) makes so much sense whether about new environments, work cultures, points of view, and the overall reality of a new position. First off, all of us have to learn about so many things in our careers, whether the relevant position is exactly that dream or one further from initial preferences. We learn by doing. Let me repeat that as I see too many people who don’t understand it in a seminar room, using a camera, cooking, or writing: we learn by doing. Paraphrasing my dear friend and former colleague retired Marine Colonel Chris Coke, ‘Let’s make sure we’re not just admiring something’ but doing something.
That’s not an order to do something stupid for the sake of doing something. It’s a reminder that the lessons we learn are not merely from books but from trying, failing occasionally and succeeding sufficiently to advance our confidence. Graduating from college, however, with a focus on grade point average and amassing a ridiculous number of specialisations or majors, if not degrees themselves, doesn’t mean much in a work environment. It also doesn’t matter where you went to school after you graduate, except in your own mind most of the time.
An employee who tests her skills in a variety of settings, however, starts to see whether FYD actually matches with her skills and an enduring commitment.
Hammer’s suggestion, however, that taking on even the ‘lowliest’ of opportunities is not below any of us if we want to learn effectively about the positions we are in—and those options we may well have in the future. Twenty years ago I volunteered to take responsibility for a task so my colleague could focus on her primary job. My supervisor vetoed my action on the grounds that I was ‘a professional’ and the task was for ‘staff’. This common academic snobbery made no sense to me. I was volunteering so why was he telling me not to take it on since I knew I could learn what was necessary while continuing to provide my skill in my primary responsibility of seminar teaching? Someone had to do this task as it was integral to running the College. More importantly, the affected person had decided to depart the College if she were not relieved of the assignment as promised. Since her primary work was much more specialised than mine, it seemed worth making any effort to encourage her to stay by letting her focus on what she (not the rest of us) knew best to raise our effectiveness overall. Finally, I actually relished the challenge as the task centered on one thing I knew only slightly. By doing this job for three years, I would greatly expand my knowledge of administration in conjunction with teaching. My supervisor was still angry that I was erasing the line between ‘staff’ and ‘professionals’ but I thought that absurd. Indeed, three years later I had filled in a valuable piece of the puzzle of the National War College and National Defense University. That knowledge served me extraordinarily well for several reasons for the remainder of my time at the University.
Learning something new provides positive reinforcement and confidence. Neither of those are wasted in our lives.
Neither Hammer nor I are arguing that it is impossible for someone to follow his dream successfully without taking a broader look at the working experience but we independently believe it less likely to assure happiness and performance success. Today’s students hear speeches advocating the promise of a dream as if there were a single magic for their lives. In an era where we assure that every member of every team gets praised for something all of the time to protect self esteem, FYD provides serious risks of profound disappointment for most of us. That’s where humility comes in handy and is welcome.
At the end of the day, however, we are both arguing that having an open mind and an eagerness to learn remain vital to life’s successes whether in the FYD or AO categories. Her entire column strikes me as relevant for life as much as in career choices because the same frictions and fantasies exist at the workplace and at home. We forget that a workplace is not merely some entity where one trades one’s time for compensation. Workplaces are relationships as much as anything else as is all of life.
Again, an individual must apply common sense to most every thing one does. If you hate needles, don’t pursue a career in nursing where you likely will encounter needles of all sorts daily. But if you are not wild about focusing on numbers, you may still be able to provide a decent salary for a career in a firm specialising in finance but not as a financial wizard per se.
The key to Hammer’s argument is not to close too many doors as an initial constraint because life evolves in unexpected ways. As I have said before, one of my favourite pieces of advice is the Jewish mystic Martin Buber’s reminder ‘All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware’. Cynthia’s twist on the phrase is a bit different but somewhat related as ‘Actions have consequences’.
I wish you a terrific week. It has rained buckets in the Chesapeake this weekend so perhaps we will float away but I hope we see the sun instead. I think the azaleas and rhododendra agree.
Be well and be safe. FIN
Bonnie Hammer, ‘Follow your dreams’ and other terrible career advice’, WSJ.com, 4 May 2024, retrieved at https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/follow-your-dreams-and-other-terrible-career-advice-3f23590b?mod=Searchresults_pos1&page=1