truly an inspiration
celebrating life
The second musing I wrote in early November, almost exactly 4 months ago, was about the passing of an amazing woman. She was family by marriage for me but I had the privilege of knowing her for 18 years and hearing of her for an earlier 13. A cruel disease stole her from us after several years’ decline but the last time I saw her, she was as determined as ever to beat the disease. I was honoured to share photographs I took of her with my husband, to whom she was incredibly close for their whole lives, when we last saw her in July.
Today we celebrated her life, about 40 friends, family, and children, in one of her many favourite restaurants. It was frigid with another of these bloody polar vorteces as I trained to the event but it was worth every singe second as the warmth we felt about her could heat the entire New York metropolitan area for a week.
About a dozen folks reflected on the seemingly unending benefits she brought us individually and collectively as a force in our lives. There were anecdotes, tears, laughs and shrieks, lots of ‘sailor’ language in quoting her, about five dozen photographs hung from various portions of her life, and much joy. Every single person knew she departed from us much much earlier than any of us would have wanted but she did it her way.
I have never had to attend a ‘celebration of life’ while I have been to bunches of funerals (3 at Ft. Myer outside D.C. in 6 weeks alone last year). This was the most upbeat way I can imagine somone celebrated. The entire event reminded me how much she cared about us, did not take prisoners, and encouraged us for decades.
Why did she impact us so much? She paid attention to each and every person in her life to value that person. Did we tell her that? I certainly did not do so adequately.
She gave us bad news, at times, because we needed hear it. She had to call my daughter out on a poor decision several years back but the chat was essential. Did anyone thank her for the painful insights? Not sure
Our departed one expanded our thinking on topics that I didn’t know appealed to he, much less that she felt she wanted to opine on. She was a political junky but cared about so many things beyond that topic, ranging from cats to why she hated hiking and exercise, to the best places to sit for a conversation with lobbyists in the New Jersey state assembly.
She spent countless hours on Scrabble to convey other stories that the game players did not realise she was conveying. She was unchallengable as Scrabble Queen. I don’t think I will ever play it again. She would have loved the mugs her kids gave to people saying ‘I have been beaten at Scrabble’ by THE best.
On and on and on.
Inspirations ought to lead to more celebrations. We should never ever take life, people’s treatment of us, or the future for granted.FIN